Celebrating Mother’s Day in 2020

Dear Families-

I am providing a clear PSA for your safety amongst COVID-19 knowing we all think it’s about three days earlier of what actually day it is: Mother’s Day is 5/10/20.

We often scramble to find gifts of appreciation for mom, leading to the usual planned Brunch, Spa Day, or Big Family gathering. Unfortunately, most of those options are off the table at a time where we are reminded why moms are the glue that holds it all together for us. The bright side is this; most only care about the thought you put into how much you appreciate her as a mom

Let’s face, it unless you are essential and working out of the home; you should have plenty of time to make this day special. Go on one of your “Important Video Conference Calls” that we are pretty sure you are just having a boss bitch fest with your work buddies or playing video games with kids your kid’s age, who by the way are in the next room playing the same game.

I'm generalizing, but let’s go with it.

Mom, on the other hand, had some new assignments given to them this year, Most moms are now working from home. They went from “working mom” on the go, to work at the home, which for some reason you just work more, in addition, they are now a substitute teacher and tutor, daycare worker; a fight negotiator, and prison warden; an all-day personal chef, trying to transform anything you have in your fridge or cabinet into some kind of edible meal like a contestant in Chopped, rationing food -because all you people do is eat; family disinfector, maid and battling non-stop laundry mountain; psychologist and “feelings” therapist. All the while dealing with her own confused feelings of why she’s not fantasizing of George Clooney or Bard Pitt, but of Gov. Andrew Cuomo or Dr.Anthony Fauci. All of this and trying not to become a day drinker.

Happy F*cking Mother’s Day you one-woman band. There is a reason all you do is add an “o” to her and it spells HERO. Not HIMO.

Not a slight to the dads out there. It’s not your fault, we have enabled you- never knowing the ramifications or completely lacking the physic abilities to predict a global pandemic. We thought we were just making it…easier. You have no idea how to help, by design or not, like a grown child who has moved back with their parents and or at best, a very green intern who has been forced upon us, It was fun to watch you try for about two minutes but we are now over it- the mom, the kids, the dog, the cat,.. everyone. So now that you have has a small look into what motherhood looks like and how we try to hold the family “sh*t” together, let us help you say “Thank You” and win on Mother's Day 2020.

Why is Mother’s Day such a big deal to Mom’s? It’s a Mom's Christmas. It’s a Mom’s Super bowl. It’s the one day to just get a “Thank You” for making us appear like a happy and well adjusted healthy family in public, and not letting us not look like the total sociopaths, that we would look like left to our own druthers, We also go onto self-protection mode by having the lowest of expectations on that day from our loving family.

If you don’t have a ton of cash don’t worry, you can do things that don’t take a ton of money, Mother’s Day is more emotional if anything.

The easiest road to happiness is to simply ask her what she wants-but beware of traps -Moms who don’t want to risk getting another smelly soap, lotion, or candle from Walmart, will flat out tell you what they want (I am that Mom). Most moms will say “Oh nothing honey, don’t worry about it., just another day for me” or the selfless moms will say “Every day is Mother’s Day for me, just as long I have you all of you to love, that’s more than enough for me” or exhausted who are scared they would need to clean everything up “With everything going on we can just do something later on to celebrate Mothers Day”.

Let me translate what that means:

“Oh nothing, don’t worry about it.” -really means- “If you do next to nothing or try to blame COVID-19 as a free pass because you were planning on telling me about a fake trip like flying me to Paris, but can’t leave the US, I will become your worst nightmare.”

“Every day is Mother’s Day for me, just as long I have you all of you to love, that’s more than enough for me”. -really means- “ You life-sucking sob’s - I have sacrificed my youth, mind, body, career, and sanity for you all, the least you could do it pull ONE thing together for someone other than yourself for ONE day a year.”

“With everything going on we can just do something later on to celebrate Mother’s Day.”.-really means- “I have zero faith you can run a bath on your own without the Coast Guard watching over you.”

Harsh? yes. True? Yep. Here are some ideas to treat mom like the Queen she is, just be practical but be thoughtful, above all else. Our panel of moms dreamed up the perfect Mother’s Day.

BUT one ask: Buy local, buy from a small business in your area, extra points buy from a Local Female mom-run a small business. Remember, this state of our lives is not forever and we really need to support our small businesses. So consider purchasing gift cards for products or services for a future date from your local small business owner's mom loves to visit.

Mother's Day Celebration Ideas

COVID-19 Mother’s Day Do’s and Dont’s. Let’ s start with the process of elimination, the don’ts:

Don’ts (only becomes a “do” if she ASKS for it):

Don’t buy Lingerie-it is not a gift, at this point its a job, please do not disguise a gift for you as a gift for her. It would be like buying golf clubs for us.

Don’t buy mom an online cooking class- trust me we are practiced by this point.

Don’t find your inner Gordon Ramsey and plan something that will require mom to clean up- If you cook and destroy the kitchen, clean up your mess.

Don’t take the kids all day and think to raise your voice, letting them cry it out all day or introducing a new line of consequence they have never heard of is helping. If she has to storm in the room and de-escalate a child’s breakdown, you have failed. Do what mom does.

Just Pretend the Queen of England has arrived and your job is to serve her-ALL DAY

DO: hit it early, hit it hard and hit it fast: take her coffee and breakfast, We all love it when the family busts through the door and shouts “Happy Mother’s Day” with gifts and cards in hand, even better with coffee and breakfast. So get in the spirit and make a big deal about it. This is a great idea for our Front Line mommas that are getting up early and going to work. Kids at home should get their butts up and come in with the card, gift, hug, kiss-ready. Have your children-no matter what age- make and write a card, it will mean the world to a mom, let’s shoot for more than a picture or one sentence with “Love, the ingrates”- you need to become a Hallmark Supervisor, oversee this one and make sure they do it right.

DO ALL the Cooking and Cleaning up- no matter if you are ordering food in or cooking-do something that will give her a break and not require her to clean up your “gift.”

DO Clean the house- (yes, this includes the toilets) and attacking and putting a dent in Laundy Mountain.

DO have one Family Sit Down Lunch, Dinner, or socially distanced Picnic.

DO Kid Duty- all day, as mom does it.

DO Mimosas With Moms!  A Virtual Happy Hour! Set up a Virtual Party with her closest family and friends as a surprise to catch up and spend quality time together.

DO have Mom Netflix, Hula, and Bravo - she has earned it- kick it up a notch, turn the bathroom into a spa, start a warm bath or shower, play music, lite a candle, add some flowers, layout a spa mask, a new robe, new slippers- while she is pampering- Make her a “relaxing room”, could be a bedroom- layout some comfy pajamas, remake her bed, fluff her pillows, charge her phone, iPad, or laptop, put her favorite snacks and drink out, give her a bell for the day if she needs anything.

Gift Ideas for Mother’s Day

Honestly- giving gifts from the heart, taking the family duties all day and letting mom chill, is the best gift, anything gift on top of it is gravy. With that said, here are our top favorites:

Get her a gift card to go get spoiled when things open up. Our roots are showing and pretty sure we are going to need a color correction from our botched box job, our nails are a mess thanks to scrubbing and bleaching. Give mom something to look forward to, like putting herself back together and destressing like getting her hair done or to the spa for a Mani and Pedi spa: both safe bets (and much appreciated!).

As mentioned above a Mom Basket filled with items like a Robe, pair of Slippers, Spa Mask, New pair of PJs makes a wonderful gift.

Make or Buy something personalized, framed picture of the family, jewelry with something engraved, anything that can is a keepsake.